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bah humbug

Oh, Jesus.

Christmas is coming, isn't it. The CBD has its decos up, eggnog is now available in the supermarket fridge.


God, I hate this time of year. Trying to remember who I have to buy a present for. Tearing my hair out trying to figure out what the hell they'd like. Grinding my teeth at the length of the need-presents-for list, and the ridiculous cost of it all. Trying to convince people to NOT buy me presents, as I have a fulltime job and would rather they saved their cash or gave to charity than spend it on me. OH MY GOD, WHY IS THERE NO 'OPT-OUT' OPTION WHEN IT COMES TO CHRISTMAS?

Anyway, it's got me to thinking about inappropriate gifts. I used to know a girl who gave people things she wanted herself, no matter how inappriopriate it was for the recipient. She once gave me a pastel picture of a ginger cat, a bowl of cherries and a straw hat with a pink ribbon. Everyone who saw it fell about laughing that she'd given it to me of all people, although it is true that I like cats and cherries. Alana's ex, for christmas last year, gave her a beige-coloured leather cap. It looked like a skin cap. And Alana's a vegemaquarian. It was only slightly less inappropriate a gift than an actual meat tray. Bright side: when he dumped her I was able to cheer her up by saying, "Well, at least now you can get rid of that skinhat!" She took great delight in binning that hideous number.

So, flist. My question for you: what's the worst/most inappropriate gift you've ever given/received/witnessed?

[eta: I'm quite happy about the eggnog, btw. Don't want to misrepresent, here.]


One Christmas I was in the UK staying with a friend and his aging aunt and Uncle. Boyfriend (long since ex) was with me. Opening presents I exclaimed loudly, "Aw, this is from your mum! She sent something all the way to England with you for me! That's so sweet!". Everyone turned to see what it was. It turned out to be a set of incredibly cheap, slutty, black nylon undies and a bra. The looks on the faces of the aging aunt and uncle (and apparently myself) were a thing to behold. Now I open presents from people I don't know quietly, in another room...
"Oh Jesus" <- "We gonna party like it's your birthday, gonna drink Bacardi, like it's your birthday" etc. *chuckle*
I was so annoyed that the Christmas ads are already on tv and that the music is playing in the shopping centres. They start way too early.